Monday, 9 December 2013

Hugh has had a nasty accident.

Time to explain why Hugh hasn't been in touch for a while. He was involved in a terrible freak gardening accident.


My dearest Sandra

I really must apologise for not being in touch sooner. I have had the most terrible time my love, truly awful.

About a week ago I was helping a friend out doing some gardening. He had moved into a new house and the garden was like a jungle. I promised that I would help him clear as much of it as I could before the really awful weather sets in. We set to work, clearing the weeds and the rubbish that was strewn all over. By the end of the first day we had made real progress and I promised to come back the following day to a bit more work.

I arrived at 9am to find Alan hard at it. As we had cleared most of the weeds and rubbish, he had started to dig over the flowerbeds. I too grabbed a spade and got stuck in. After about an hour of hard digging, Alan struck something hard in the ground. We joked about it being a treasure  chest buried by pirates and he continued digging. I went into the house to make us both a well earned cup of tea. As the kettle boiled, I looked out of the window to see Alan on his hands and knees, brushing soil away from the 'treasure chest' with his hands. I did chuckle to myself as he frantically brushed away the soil.

I made the tea and was just coming out of the back door  with the cups when the most terrible thing happened. It all happened so fast Sandra. One minute I was stood there with cups of tea in my hand, giggling at Alan the next there was a massive bang, a huge explosion and I was thrown to the ground. I awoke some time later a tangled mess of broken tea cups, soil, shrapnel and Alan's body parts.

Sandra, the 'treasure chest' that Alan had been trying to uncover was actually an unexploded WW2 bomb! His furious digging and soil shifting had disturbed it and it had exploded, killing him instantly. I awoke with one of his legs strewn across my chest and his left hand clutching at my groin. But don't worry, that doesn't make me gay or anything. I am still all man I promise you.

Anyway, the emergency services arrived pretty quickly but Alan was in far too many pieces for them to put back together, I suffered cuts and bruises and got hot tea in my eye and needed some eye drops. But Sandra the worst thing is, the noise from the blast has damaged my ears and I am now completely deaf. I am devastated because this means I will never get to hear your sweet, feminine voice. In a few months they will try to operate and put right the damage but there is no guarantee I will ever hear again.

Sandra, can you still love me? Could you find it in your heart to love a deaf man? We could learn sign language together my love so we can still say 'I love you'.

Please write back to me soon my love and tell me we will be ok.

Love you always

Hugh xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No comments:

Post a Comment