I have exams and she gets a iron!

Sandra bless her, she wishes me the very best for my coming exams!! Sometimes the terrible spelling can be very funny. She has found a new lawyer who needs a large sum of money from me. Now there's a surprise!

Hello dearest Hugh Jorgan compliment of the season. I wish you all the best in this coming exams and new year, my love how is your health, hope you are responding to your treatment, my love you have to be strong for me and get well soon, i have a meeting with the new lawyer that the reverend introduce to me two days ago, I explained all that we needed from him, he only accepted in one condition that we will have to come up with the sum of $ 1,950 dollars that he will come up with all the document that we need in two working day, my love below is the information of the lawyer.
Br. MAMADOU FALL
Phone: 00221-768-555-191
Email: brmamadoulawchambers@lawyer.com





I eventually reply being my usual, romantic self!



Hello my sweet and beautiful Sandra


I do apologise for not being in touch over the last week or so.  It's that time of year where you are expected to go places and see people and generally be sociable. I didn't feel like it, what with being deaf and all that but hey ho, we must do these things. I just have to make sure I take lots of note pads and pens with me everywhere I go so people can write things down for me to read.

Anyway my love, how was your Christmas? Did you have turkey and all the trimmings or do they not do that kind of stuff over there? I have bought you a special Christmas  present for when you come to live with me, it's a new iron! How wonderful is that? It should make your housework a little easier for you.

So, you have  found us a new lawyer. That is good news. I shall email him as soon as I get a chance and introduce myself to him.

I have a busy day today Sandra. I have to take down the Christmas tree and take it to the local dump for recycling. There is a big machine that shreds them down into small pieces. I then have to do some shopping and washing and housework. I can't wait until you move over here as I will never have to do these things again!! Woo hoo!!

Anyway Sandra, I must go as I am very busy.

Keep smiling and write back soon

Yours always

Hugh xxxxxxxxxxxxx

She still loves me!

After telling Sandra about my unfortunate accident, she gets in touch to say she still loves me. Bless!



Hello my love how are you doing, my love I am very sorry for my late reply, I don’t know you are going true this pain, my love hope you are responding to treatment, my prayers is that the God almighty will grant you healing and he will restore in you all, my love you have to believe that you where not bone deaf and you will not go deaf now, but my love I still love you with all my heart, I am really sorry about your situation,
Sandra



To which I reply:


Good morning my darling Sandra.

Life here is difficult at the moment. I still can't hear a flipping thing and it's driving me crazy. I hope to hear from the hospital soon to see if they can operate and restore my hearing.

Anyway my beloved girl, how are you? Have you managed to find us a new lawyer yet? One who is a bit more competent and literate would be good this time!! If you can't find one then I think I will have no option but to fly out to Senegal in the New Year and try to help you myself. I can't think of you stuck in that awful camp for much longer.

I am so glad you are being so patient with me after my accident. You really are a goddess amongst women!

Please write back to me soon. Your emails are the only thing keeping me going at the moment, If I didn't have you, I don't know what I would do to be honest. You are my strength, my love and my nocturnal fiddle fodder.

I look forward to reading your message soon.

All my love forever

Hugh xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hugh has had a nasty accident.

Time to explain why Hugh hasn't been in touch for a while. He was involved in a terrible freak gardening accident.


My dearest Sandra

I really must apologise for not being in touch sooner. I have had the most terrible time my love, truly awful.

About a week ago I was helping a friend out doing some gardening. He had moved into a new house and the garden was like a jungle. I promised that I would help him clear as much of it as I could before the really awful weather sets in. We set to work, clearing the weeds and the rubbish that was strewn all over. By the end of the first day we had made real progress and I promised to come back the following day to a bit more work.

I arrived at 9am to find Alan hard at it. As we had cleared most of the weeds and rubbish, he had started to dig over the flowerbeds. I too grabbed a spade and got stuck in. After about an hour of hard digging, Alan struck something hard in the ground. We joked about it being a treasure  chest buried by pirates and he continued digging. I went into the house to make us both a well earned cup of tea. As the kettle boiled, I looked out of the window to see Alan on his hands and knees, brushing soil away from the 'treasure chest' with his hands. I did chuckle to myself as he frantically brushed away the soil.

I made the tea and was just coming out of the back door  with the cups when the most terrible thing happened. It all happened so fast Sandra. One minute I was stood there with cups of tea in my hand, giggling at Alan the next there was a massive bang, a huge explosion and I was thrown to the ground. I awoke some time later a tangled mess of broken tea cups, soil, shrapnel and Alan's body parts.

Sandra, the 'treasure chest' that Alan had been trying to uncover was actually an unexploded WW2 bomb! His furious digging and soil shifting had disturbed it and it had exploded, killing him instantly. I awoke with one of his legs strewn across my chest and his left hand clutching at my groin. But don't worry, that doesn't make me gay or anything. I am still all man I promise you.

Anyway, the emergency services arrived pretty quickly but Alan was in far too many pieces for them to put back together, I suffered cuts and bruises and got hot tea in my eye and needed some eye drops. But Sandra the worst thing is, the noise from the blast has damaged my ears and I am now completely deaf. I am devastated because this means I will never get to hear your sweet, feminine voice. In a few months they will try to operate and put right the damage but there is no guarantee I will ever hear again.

Sandra, can you still love me? Could you find it in your heart to love a deaf man? We could learn sign language together my love so we can still say 'I love you'.

Please write back to me soon my love and tell me we will be ok.

Love you always

Hugh xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sandra has found us a new lawyer.

I have been really busy and not emailed Sandra for a while. I also like to keep 'her' hanging in the hope 'she' will get annoyed. She sends me a couple of messages, one informing me that she has found another lawyer for us to use. I can't wait to see the calibre of this one!

Hello my love how are you doing? my love i have not read from you, hope all is well with you over there, i miss you my love hope to read from you soon.
Sandra.



I decide to ignore her so she sends another email a few days later.



Good day my dear, how are you doing today? With every hope that you are fine? Thanks to God almighty for the good health. My love, what is happening? You have not been replying my mails, I am writing to know if everything is OK with you because I have not heard from you for some days now and no any response from you in the last mail I sent to you.

My love, please do not forsake me in this last minute because I don't have any other person to help me out of this my ugly condition. Dear, I want to inform you that I have good news.

Our assistant reverend introduced me to another lawyer who can help us in the preparation of the document and when I reach to the chambers I was convinced and impressed in every thing I saw there, I felt and believed that we have gotten a competent lawyer who can perfectly do this work for us, even though I didn't see the chief advocate in person, I mean the chief lawyer but i was convinced with what i saw by my self.

My love, i will repeat my visit to the chambers to get all the information needed for you to contact them for the preparation of the documents. My love, I am so happy and believe that God will see us through soon through this new lawyer. I will stop here and be waiting impatiently to here from you. Please take good care of yourself for me and do have a nice day. Yours lovely,
Sandra

And all of a sudden, we are married!

Time for an update. Life here has been it's usual busy, craziness so not had time to update for a while. Sandra hadn't responded to my email about the lawyer or the pictures I sent her. Maybe it's put her off? I send another message.



Good morning my darling Sandra.
I haven't heard from you for a few days and I am
concerned about you. I do hope everything is ok over there.
Did you get my last message about the lawyer? I emailed him
again but he hasn't replied. I do think it is time we
found another, better lawyer. If you could let me have the
Holy Reverend's email address then I can contact him
directly to save you the trouble and upset.
All I want is to get you out of that awful camp, help you
get your money and start our life together. Please do all
you can Sandra and get back to me as soon as possible. I
worry about you so much my darling. I just want you safe in
my arms where you belong.
Take care my love and please write back soon.
All my love
Hugh xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



To which she replies;



Good afternoon my beloved husband,
And how are you doing today, I believe everything is going according to God's plan. Honey, I am so happy to receive your emails and i want to apologize for my delay in writing back to you the reason was that I was sick but I thank God today I am better new.

Darling, I have discussed this mater with the reverend yesterday concerning the lawyer, but the only responses he gave to me was that he will try to make contact with another lawyer soon, and i should let you know that Dr, Nelson is only but French speaking man that does not understand English much, he is just trying to help us out. So my love I don’t know if we should give him the chance or look for other lawyer.

My love I am so happy for every effort that you have been putting over my life, I don’t really know how to say thank you for all. my love, I strongly believe that we will be together soon, my love for me I believe all we need from the lawyer is only the document and nothing more, but it is up to you my husband to take the decision because your wish will always my command, and I know you are the best for me my love.
I will be waiting to read from you soon my love.
From your love.

A proper telling off!!

I give Mr Nelson a proper telling off this time. I bet he takes no notice whatsoever.

Dear Mr Nelson

Oh dearie, dearie me! The use of entirely capital letters in any correspondence is the equivalent of SHOUTING!!! This is wholly unacceptable and extremely insulting. Would you like it if someone you wished to do business with came and shouted in your face? I think not Mr Nelson, I think not.

Despite my previous insistence that you proof read and check all emails before sending them to me, yet again you send another abomination. Not only do you SCREAM AND SHOUT at me, your spelling is atrocious and your grasp of the English language is appalling. Our dear Queen would be horrified to know her beautiful language is being massacred in such a hideous way.

For the very last time I will correct your appalling attempt at professional communication. If you do not heed my corrections and send me a properly constructed, correctly spelled response, I am afraid this will be the end of our professional relationship. I will have no choice but to find a more capable and quite frankly intelligent lawyer to carry out the work that is required to free my darling Sandra from her current plight. I hope you realise that you will have her health and happiness on your conscience  if you do not sort this out immediately. Hang your head in shame Mr Gabriel Nelson, hang  your head in shame.

Please read carefully the amendments I have made to your previous email below and attend to them forthwith.  Please do NOT make me do this again.

And another thing, who is Prince Akor? I will pay the money to Nelson Law Chambers business account and that account only. Please send me the correct details.

I despair but  look forward to your response on this matter.

Hugh Jorgan

---

From: drgabrielnelson@hotmail.com
To: hughjorgan68@outlook.com
Subject: NELSON LAW CHAMBERS,
Date: Thu, 21 Nov 2013 13:17:18 +0000

ATTENTION,

MR. HUGH JORGAN,

I WISH TO CONFIRM THE RECEIPTS (receipt, it is singular, not plural) OF YOUR MAIL TO MY NOBLE LAW FIRM, AND AS WELL WISH TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT I HAVE NOTED YOUR MAIL.
MEANWHILE, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LATE REPLY OF YOUR MAIL, ITS (missing apostrophe)DUE TO I WAS OFF THE TOWN. (What does this mean? It makes no sense at all)
MR. JORGAN, AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR EMAIL, YOU ARE HEREBY TO SEND THE MONEY THROUGH MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT ACCOUNT DETAILS BELOW;

BANK NAME : BANK OF AFRICA

ACCOUNT NAME : PRINCE  AKOR (who the hell is Prince Akor?)

ACCOUNT NUMBER : 02727640000

BANK CODE    :       SN100

GUICHET CODE  :     01004

SWIFT  CODE    :      AFRISNDAXXX

RIB          :               44

AND YOU ARE TO SEND ME THE SCAN COPY OF THE TRANSFER SLEEP (Sleep?? You want me to transfer some sleep? Or do you really mean slip?) ONCE YOU MAKING (make, or have made, not making) THE DEPOSIT.
I WILL ANTICIPATE YOUR URGENT RESPONDS (response, not responds. One responds to someone or something with a response) IMMEDIATELY YOU SEND THE MONEY.
THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.
MY PRIORITY IS TO RENDER THE BEST OF MY SERVICE TO MY CLIENTS.
      YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.
                                              DR.BAR .GABRIEL NELSON.(ESQ).

From the lawyer. He wants me to transfer some sleep.

After the previous telling off I thought that Mr Nelson might make a bit of an effort to send a half decent email. Wrong! This time he just shouts at me!!




ATTENTION,

MR. HUGH JORGAN,

I WISH TO CONFIRM THE RECEIPTS OF YOUR MAIL TO MY NOBLE LAW FIRM, AND AS WELL WISH TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT I HAVE NOTED YOUR MAIL.
MEANWHILE, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LATE REPLY OF YOUR MAIL, ITS DUE TO I WAS OFF THE TOWN.
MR. JORGAN, AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR EMAIL, YOU ARE HEREBY TO SEND THE MONEY THROUGH MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT ACCOUNT DETAILS BELOW;

BANK NAME : BANK OF AFRICA

ACCOUNT NAME : PRINCE  AKOR

ACCOUNT NUMBER : 02727640000

BANK CODE    :       SN100

GUICHET CODE  :     01004

SWIFT  CODE    :      AFRISNDAXXX

RIB          :               44

AND YOU ARE TO SEND ME THE SCAN COPY OF THE TRANSFER SLEEP ONCE YOU MAKING THE DEPOSIT.
I WILL ANTICIPATE YOUR URGENT RESPONDS IMMEDIATELY YOU SEND THE MONEY.
THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.
MY PRIORITY IS TO RENDER THE BEST OF MY SERVICE TO MY CLIENTS.
      YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.
                                              DR.BAR .GABRIEL NELSON.(ESQ).

Doreen and Mort.

In the meantime, whilst I play with the 'lawyer', Sandra continues to email telling me how much she loves and misses me. Oh, and she wants me to make her into a worm.


Hello my love how are you doing today? Hope you have a wonderful night? My love I dream of the time I'll see you, kiss you, touch you, and hear your voice. I think about you always. My love I care for a Picture of you, a picture that will dominate my thoughts, bringing about a smile at unexpected moments.
I think of the things I'll tell you when we're together, and all we'll share, and I look forward to having you close to me. I miss you terribly my love, and wish you were here, but even though you're not, you still bring so much joy to my life.
As you know know we are in cold weather, my love this the time I need you most by my said to hold me close to your body and make me worm, my love, about the lawyer, it was Reverend Daniel Peter that introduce the lawyer to me, my love I believe he is a good lawyer that we can work with, but what ever your decision is my, I still believe we can work with the lawyer, he is a good man to work with my love.
From Your Love




I thought I should tell her just how rubbish the 'lawyer' Mr Nelson is. I also decided to throw a few sexist insults around too. I wonder if she will notice? As she has asked for more photos I sent her a few, one of me, one of me as my female alter ego 'Doreen' and one of my cat, Mort! Apologies to David Walliams again but he is the worst ;'crossdresser' I know!

Good morning Sandra

And how are you today? It's very cold over here today and we have had some snow. What's the weather like where you are?

Sandra, I am very very concerned about the lack of professionalism shown by the lawyer Reverend Daniel Peter recommended. I am not sure I feel confident in using him for the paperwork we need. His emails are so very badly written that they make no proper sense. I know your emails are pretty bad but I understand that. You are only a woman so not blessed with much intelligence and you didn't get a chance to finish your education due to your family all being massacred, so I am prepared to make allowances. Anyway, you don't need reading and writing to cook, clean and do my ironing!

Could you please send me Reverend Peters email address so I can talk to him about this? If we are to get the money situation sorted and finally get you out of that awful camp, we really need to be sorting the necessary documents. If the Holy Reverend cannot help, I will have to find a lawyer myself or come over to Senegal and attend to it in person. Please try and sort this out for me as soon as you can. There's a good girl.


I have sent you a couple of pictures as requested.  One is me as Hugh, the man you know and love and the other is of me as Doreen, my female persona. That is one of my more flamboyant outfits but I do love it's quaint femininity.  When dressed as Doreen, I like to do ladylike pursuits such as needlecraft, knitting and eating cake, lots and lots of cake. One can never have too much cake.  I also like to play with my pussy. Real ladies should all have a pussy to play with. If I am feeling stressed after a hard day at work, there is nothing I find more relaxing than slipping into a pretty frock and stroking my pussy. I stroke her until she starts to quiver with excitement. I feel a sudden rush of happiness and then I feel all relaxed and calm again. I have attached a photo of Mort, my pussy for you to see. Isn't she just gorgeous? I do hope you like my pussy Sandra.

Well my darling girl, I have a busy day of meetings and other such manly things to attend to so I really must get on. Please don't forget to send me the Holy Reverends email address so we can get this mess sorted out. In the meantime my love,  keep smiling and remember that I love you.

All my love always

Hugh xxxxxxxxxxxx



Here are the pictures I sent!!

Doreen

Hugh

Mort

More corrections.

After Mr Nelson's last rubbish email, I send him another reply complete with corrections. I wonder if he will ever get it right?


Dear Mr Nelson

Thank you for your reply to my previous email. I take on board your comments about Pierre, your secretary. I hope his personal problems aren't too severe. Please send him my best wishes.

However, I am sad to say there were several mistakes in your reply. Mr Nelson, this is simply NOT good enough. If you are indeed a respected lawyer, one who  holds himself in high esteem in such learned circles, then I must insist that each and every email you send is checked beforehand for spelling and grammar mistakes. Please attend to this immediately then we can move this process forward. Please bear in mind, my beloved Sandra is festering away in that awful refugee camp. Every time you or your staff make a mistake, she loses a little piece more of her dignity.  Once again I have highlighted the mistakes you have made. Please do NOT do this again. Should any more incompetent emails be received, I will have no choice but  to find another lawyer to represent me instead.

With regard to payment. As the money is to be paid from my business account, my accountant simply will not allow me to use Western Union or Money Gram.  Please send me Nelson Law Chambers company bank details as asked for previously. As long as I have all the details I asked for, I can arrange instant payment to your account. I have checked with my accountant and with my bank and they assure me that the safest and fastest way to pay for your services is via direct bank to bank transfer. This would go straight into your company account within 2 hours.

Please do not let me down Mr Nelson. Sandra needs your help. You are her lifeline and I shall never forgive you if you let her down.

Yours

Hugh Jorgan

---

From: drgabrielnelson@hotmail.com
To: hughjorgan68@outlook.com
Subject: OFFICIAL COST OF THE DOCUMENTS FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT.
Date: Sat, 16 Nov 2013 18:49:32 +0000

NELSON LAW CHAMBERS
ESQ

Our Ref: Dcc/Vol.18 CaseNo.16-2-16/11/2013
Your Ref: Power of Attorney / Affidavit of oath

Mobil Phone:  +221-778 022 077      

Email : (barnelsonlawchambers@gmail.com) or (nelsonlawchambers@hotmail.com)  

Address :  Sicap Liberte 6 villa 368 3rd floor Dakar Senegal.

                  
          

Attention.

Mr.Hugh Jorgan,
 

I wish to acknowledge the receipt of your mail to my noble law chamber. I have red and understood all you said in your mail, and i want to use this opportunity to apologize for everything so far. I have just gone through the mail and discovered that it was a typographic error from my secretary which i have handle it in accordance. (this makes no sense) I felt so bitter while reading your mail today. i felt like sanctioning him (the said secretary) but only to discovered that he was facing some personal issues with out my knowledge, because he is still very new in my office and he is a french speaking man,  but it will never happen again. So, please accept my apologies and above all, thank you so much for the correction.
Like i said, thank you for accepting to use my noble law firm in this transaction and i am sure that you understood all i have said in the previous mail concerning the preparation of the document, and i wish to bring to your notice that the two documents will officially cost you a total sum of one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars ($1,250)  to procure all the papers and make them valid for this transfer. I just have to break down the total cost for the easier clarification, which states as follows :-

The power of attorney cost................................$ 550

Making a sworn affidavit of oath in your name cost .......$ 400

High court notary stamp cost...............$ 50

Legalization of document ..............................$ 250

Total.......................................... $ 1.250


Secondly. Why i want you to send this money through Western Union money transfer or through Money Gram is because it is the fastest way of sending and receiving money world wide, and secondly, for the easier withdrawal of the money through my secretary because i am a very busy man and always occupied with other issues. So Mr.Jorgan, i will like you to send the money through my secretary's information as directed  below.

Name of receiver ..............  PIERRE ALBERT.

Address................ SICAP LIBERTE 6 VILLA 368 3rd FLOOR

Country........   DAKAR SENEGAL.

 Finally. like i said, the documents will be ready in two working days as soon as the money gets to me.

Once again, thank you for choosing to work with my law chambers as i assure you the best of my legal services.
Please do not hesitate to contact me back if you need any more clarification.
My priority attention is to render the best of my services to all my clients.

                            yours sincere in services.
                 DR.BAR .GABRIEL NELSON (ESQ).

JUSTICE FOR ALL. DR. BAR. GABRIEL NELSON


Please note:  When using the term 'I' when referring to oneself in the first person, the 'I' should always be a capital letter, not a lower case i.

Pierre has personal problems.

So, Mr Nelson read my email about the terrible grammar. He blamed his secretary who is having personal problems yet this email is just as bad. I feel another correction coming on!




Attention.

Mr.Hugh Jorgan,
 

I wish to acknowledge the receipt of your mail to my noble law chamber. I have red and understood all you said in your mail, and i want to use this opportunity to apologize for everything so far. I have just gone through the mail and discovered that it was a typographic error from my secretary which i have handle it in accordance. I felt so bitter while reading your mail today. i felt like sanctioning him (the said secretary) but only to discovered that he was facing some personal issues with out my knowledge, because he is still very new in my office and he is a french speaking man,  but it will never happen again. So, please accept my apologies and above all, thank you so much for the correction.
Like i said, thank you for accepting to use my noble law firm in this transaction and i am sure that you understood all i have said in the previous mail concerning the preparation of the document, and i wish to bring to your notice that the two documents will officially cost you a total sum of one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars ($1,250)  to procure all the papers and make them valid for this transfer. I just have to break down the total cost for the easier clarification, which states as follows :-

The power of attorney cost................................$ 550

Making a sworn affidavit of oath in your name cost .......$ 400

High court notary stamp cost...............$ 50

Legalization of document ..............................$ 250

Total.......................................... $ 1.250


Secondly. Why i want you to send this money through Western Union money transfer or through Money Gram is because it is the fastest way of sending and receiving money world wide, and secondly, for the easier withdrawal of the money through my secretary because i am a very busy man and always occupied with other issues. So Mr.Jorgan, i will like you to send the money through my secretary's information as directed  below.

Name of receiver ..............  PIERRE ALBERT.

Address................ SICAP LIBERTE 6 VILLA 368 3rd FLOOR

Country........   DAKAR SENEGAL.

 Finally. like i said, the documents will be ready in two working days as soon as the money gets to me.

Once again, thank you for choosing to work with my law chambers as i assure you the best of my legal services.
Please do not hesitate to contact me back if you need any more clarification.
My priority attention is to render the best of my services to all my clients.

                            yours sincere in services.
                 DR.BAR .GABRIEL NELSON (ESQ).

A poem for my love.

In the mean time, Sandra sent me this load of old rubbish. What the heck is laities??





Hello my love how are you doing today? How is your health over there, hope you are doing fine, my love I don’t know how far you gone with lawyer my love please kip me in contact so that I will know the laities development of the lawyer, I miss reading from you lately, and I miss you my love,
Waiting to read from you soon.




So, being the old romantic that I am, I wrote her a really crap, insulting poem!



Dearest, darling Sandra

Many thanks for your lovely message. I am in conact with the lawyer but am not sure he is very professional. His messages are very badly written. If he doesn't sort himself out soon we will have to find another more relaible one my dear. But don't you go worrying your pretty little womans head about such matters. I am a man and will sort this out. You can rely on me Sandra, do not fear.

I miss you too my love, I really do. I miss you so much that I wrote you a poem. I hope you like it.

Sandra, you live in a camp
It must be rather damp
I hope you get a shower
So you don't smell like a tramp.

You are a refugee
And I am your trustee
I hope you're eating oranges
To get your vitamin C.

It's very cold today
I think that you should pray
That we get all that money
Before it's Christmas day

I can't wait till your free
To come and live with me
Then we can have hot kinky sexy
Whilst I wear lingerie.

I do love you Sandra and hope you are ok over there. One day soon we will be together I promise. Until then, stay strong, keep praying and remember that I love you.

Yours always

Hugh xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grammar police.

I simply could not let that last email go without commenting on the shockingly bad composition, grammar etc.  Let's see if Mr Nelson gets his secretary Pierre to correct it! I also question his insistence on using Western Union or Money Gram for payment of the fees. Let's see what he has to say about that.




Dear Sir


Many thanks for your speedy response. It is imperative for Miss Edgard's safety that we attend to this matter as soon as possible. Every day spent in such conditions eats away at her soul. I do however have a few concerns.

She assures me that the Holy Reverend at the refugee camp in which she is currently residing, recommended you as a lawyer because you are trustworthy and professional. Having just read your reply, I really do think you need to be having words with your secretary, Pierre Albert. The reply he sent was terrible. The grammar and punctuation (or lack of it) was shockingly bad. Did he not go to school? One would assume that to be a legal secretary would require a degree of intelligence and education. A reply of such shockingly bad quality does not exactly inspire confidence in your abilities as a law practice. Therefore I really must insist that your last email is rewritten using the correct grammar, punctuation and capital letters. Only then will I feel able to trust you in this matter. To help you along in this matter I have highlighted some of your secretary's errors in the original email below. Please make sure Pierre attends to this immediately.

I would also wish to know why payment of the fees has to be paid by Western Union Money Transfer? As a business owner, I shall be paying via my company account and require this to be paid directly into your firms bank account. Therefore I require your full bank details, account number, sort code, IBAN number and BIC Code plus full branch address and phone number. As soon as I have these details and the grammatically correct reply I have asked for, I see no reason to delay this matter any further .

I await your response on this matter.

Yours sincerely

Mr Hugh Jorgan




And below is the corrected email!

---

From: drgabrielnelson@hotmail.com
To: hughjorgan68@outlook.com
Subject: OFFICIAL COST OF THE DOCUMENTS FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT.
Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 12:03:13 +0000

NELSON LAW CHAMBERS
ESQ

Our Ref: Dcc/Vol.18 CaseNo.16-2-13/11/2013
Your Ref: Power of Attorney / Affidavit of oath

Mobil Phone:  +221-778 022 077      

Email : (barnelsonlawchambers@gmail.com) or (nelsonlawchambers@hotmail.com)  

Address :  Sicap Liberte 6 villa 368 3rd floor Dakar Senegal.

                  
          

Attention.

Mr. Hugh Jorgan,

Thank you for accepting to use my noble law firm in this transaction.
Meanwhile Mr. Jorgan, i wish to notify you on the note of my assessment from the federal high court here, i was meant to understand that, these documents will officially cost the sum of one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars ($1.250)  to procure all the paper and make them valid for this transfer, below here is how it accumulate to that amount.

The power of attorney cost................................$ 550

Making a sworn affidavit of oath in your name cost .......$ 400

High court notary stamp cost...............$ 50

Legalization of document ..............................$ 250

Total.......................................... $ 1.250
 
And you are to send this money through western union money transfer or through Money Gram so that i can pay the registrar in the federal high court and procure the papers,
below here is my secretary information you will use and send the money and attached here is my identity card, (This makes no sense at all)

Name of receiver ..............  PIERRE ALBERT.

Address................ SICAP LIBERTE 6 VILLA 368 3rd FLOOR

Country........   DAKAR SENEGAL.

upon the receipt of the said amount, i will commence the process of the legal documents immediately, which will be ready in our working two day, (again, makes no sense)

once more thank you for choosing to work with my law chambers as i assure you the best of my legal services.
please do not fail to contact me back if you need any more clarification,
my priority attention is to render the best of my services to all my clients.

                            yours sincere in services.
                 DR.BAR .GABRIEL NELSON (ESQ).







JUSTICE FOR ALL. DR. BAR. GABRIEL NELSON

A reply from Nelson Law Chambers.

After sending my details to the lawyer, this is the reply I received. It's so professional! If I were Dr Bar Gabriel Nelson, I would be sacking my secretary!

 

 

NELSON LAW CHAMBERS
ESQ

Our Ref: Dcc/Vol.18 CaseNo.16-2-13/11/2013
Your Ref: Power of Attorney / Affidavit of oath

Mobil Phone:  +221-778 022 077      

Email : (barnelsonlawchambers@gmail.com) or (nelsonlawchambers@hotmail.com)  

Address :  Sicap Liberte 6 villa 368 3rd floor Dakar Senegal.

                  
          

Attention.

Mr. Hugh Jorgan,

Thank you for accepting to use my noble law firm in this transaction.
Meanwhile Mr. Jorgan, i wish to notify you on the note of my assessment from the federal high court here, i was meant to understand that, these documents will officially cost the sum of one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars ($1.250)  to procure all the paper and make them valid for this transfer, below here is how it accumulate to that amount.

The power of attorney cost................................$ 550

Making a sworn affidavit of oath in your name cost .......$ 400

High court notary stamp cost...............$ 50

Legalization of document ..............................$ 250

Total.......................................... $ 1.250

And you are to send this money through western union money transfer or through Money Gram so that i can pay the registrar in the federal high court and procure the papers,
below here is my secretary information you will use and send the money and attached here is my identity card,

Name of receiver ..............  PIERRE ALBERT.

Address................ SICAP LIBERTE 6 VILLA 368 3rd FLOOR

Country........   DAKAR SENEGAL.

upon the receipt of the said amount, i will commence the process of the legal documents immediately, which will be ready in our working two day,

once more thank you for choosing to work with my law chambers as i assure you the best of my legal services.
please do not fail to contact me back if you need any more clarification,
my priority attention is to render the best of my services to all my clients.

                            yours sincere in services.
                 DR.BAR .GABRIEL NELSON (ESQ).

 

JUSTICE FOR ALL. DR. BAR. GABRIEL NELSON

Replying to the lawyer

I duly replied to the lawyers email with the details he asked for. Apologies to Poundland in Chesterfield for using their number!!


Dear Sir

Further to our correspondence regarding Miss Sandra E Edgard, here is the information you require.



1.  Full names                   Mr Hugh Jorgan
2.  Your address               22, Watersport Lane, Gold-On-Showers, G22 1PS, England
3.  Country of origin         England
4.  Occupation                   CEO Man Summers
5.  Age                                 45
6.  Telephone number      01246 232115


If there is any more information you require, do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely

Hugh Jorgan