A proper telling off!!

I give Mr Nelson a proper telling off this time. I bet he takes no notice whatsoever.

Dear Mr Nelson

Oh dearie, dearie me! The use of entirely capital letters in any correspondence is the equivalent of SHOUTING!!! This is wholly unacceptable and extremely insulting. Would you like it if someone you wished to do business with came and shouted in your face? I think not Mr Nelson, I think not.

Despite my previous insistence that you proof read and check all emails before sending them to me, yet again you send another abomination. Not only do you SCREAM AND SHOUT at me, your spelling is atrocious and your grasp of the English language is appalling. Our dear Queen would be horrified to know her beautiful language is being massacred in such a hideous way.

For the very last time I will correct your appalling attempt at professional communication. If you do not heed my corrections and send me a properly constructed, correctly spelled response, I am afraid this will be the end of our professional relationship. I will have no choice but to find a more capable and quite frankly intelligent lawyer to carry out the work that is required to free my darling Sandra from her current plight. I hope you realise that you will have her health and happiness on your conscience  if you do not sort this out immediately. Hang your head in shame Mr Gabriel Nelson, hang  your head in shame.

Please read carefully the amendments I have made to your previous email below and attend to them forthwith.  Please do NOT make me do this again.

And another thing, who is Prince Akor? I will pay the money to Nelson Law Chambers business account and that account only. Please send me the correct details.

I despair but  look forward to your response on this matter.

Hugh Jorgan

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From: drgabrielnelson@hotmail.com
To: hughjorgan68@outlook.com
Subject: NELSON LAW CHAMBERS,
Date: Thu, 21 Nov 2013 13:17:18 +0000

ATTENTION,

MR. HUGH JORGAN,

I WISH TO CONFIRM THE RECEIPTS (receipt, it is singular, not plural) OF YOUR MAIL TO MY NOBLE LAW FIRM, AND AS WELL WISH TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT I HAVE NOTED YOUR MAIL.
MEANWHILE, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LATE REPLY OF YOUR MAIL, ITS (missing apostrophe)DUE TO I WAS OFF THE TOWN. (What does this mean? It makes no sense at all)
MR. JORGAN, AS YOU REQUESTED IN YOUR EMAIL, YOU ARE HEREBY TO SEND THE MONEY THROUGH MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT ACCOUNT DETAILS BELOW;

BANK NAME : BANK OF AFRICA

ACCOUNT NAME : PRINCE  AKOR (who the hell is Prince Akor?)

ACCOUNT NUMBER : 02727640000

BANK CODE    :       SN100

GUICHET CODE  :     01004

SWIFT  CODE    :      AFRISNDAXXX

RIB          :               44

AND YOU ARE TO SEND ME THE SCAN COPY OF THE TRANSFER SLEEP (Sleep?? You want me to transfer some sleep? Or do you really mean slip?) ONCE YOU MAKING (make, or have made, not making) THE DEPOSIT.
I WILL ANTICIPATE YOUR URGENT RESPONDS (response, not responds. One responds to someone or something with a response) IMMEDIATELY YOU SEND THE MONEY.
THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.
MY PRIORITY IS TO RENDER THE BEST OF MY SERVICE TO MY CLIENTS.
      YOURS SINCERELY IN SERVICE.
                                              DR.BAR .GABRIEL NELSON.(ESQ).